Homosexual Labels


© Li Sam Writing. All rights reserved.

In Western culture today, sexuality and sexual orientation have become the launching point for discussions on gender. Gender is also discussed among women’s rights activists, but then often more in terms of discrimination. Lately something called the transgender community has emerged, claiming a voice regarding gender, and suddenly gender variant labels are popping up from everywhere, making gender issues even more difficult to sort and understand.

It’s not alarming only that these groups aggressively define themselves and others; I have learned that they also claim the right to speak for others, including heterosexual people, whenever an issue regarding gender is discussed or involved in proposed legislation. Therefore, today, the public must begin to sort out their terms and intentions.

What gender we each are seems pretty clear, for the general public and within the LGBT movement. But let’s have a look at that more closely.

The LGBT labels are about sexual orientation, right? Or are they?

Lesbian: this is about sexual orientation: a woman attracted to other women, seeking contact, partnership, and perhaps marriage. Female gender: this is about each woman individually, of course, referring to her body and self-image, plus the image of her that others perceive and the way others treat her because of that image. Or …?

Gay: this is about sexual orientation: a man attracted to other men, seeking contact, partnership, and perhaps marriage. Male gender: this is about men individually, of course, referring to their bodies and images! Or …?

Bi or bisexual: this is also about sexual orientation, a man attracted to other men or women and a woman attracted to other women or men, seeking contact, partnership, and perhaps marriage. Bisexual “gender” referring to bodies: this is about both men and women! But how?

If a man is sexually attracted to both men and women, then he is considered heterosexual when he has a female partner and homosexual when he has a male partner, right? So here is another factor involved: time. To be bisexual, you have to practice your sexuality to include both men and women within a certain time period; if not you’re just changing sexual orientation.

Suddenly in our understanding of labels here, the gender of bisexual people is not a variable in their label and the issues of attraction and sexual orientation take another meaning. Could sexual orientation—attraction—be about who you are attracted to, and your gender—your body and sexual identity and the body and sexual identity of your partner—not matter at all?

Consider that there are many gay men who used to live a “normal” heterosexual life with wife and kids but later realized their true sexual orientation. Were those men not at all attracted by women in the slightest, even their wives? Had they denied their sexual identity entirely? Some men of course know their orientation from adolescence and pretend throughout a marriage, but some do reach an understanding of their own identities only later in life. The confusion created by the conflict between a person’s upbringing and his or her own feelings can sometimes be very hard to understand. When does attraction change from friendship to become a sexual relationship, and vice versa? Is there a distinct line to differentiate our feelings? And do we really know where that line is if we haven’t tried to cross it?

Consider also that a straight man isn’t attracted to all women; neither is a gay man attracted to all men. Does this mean that “person” comes first and “body” second?

Consider:

The bodies of all men and women—are they stereotyped differently?

What about lifestyle—do men and women always present themselves within their stereotypes differently?

In what ways do we know our own sexual orientation—what triggers attraction?