Intersex Labels?


© Li Sam Writing. All rights reserved.

If you think the queer label stirs things up, wait until you learn about intersex and intersexual people: people whom society actually recognizes as being both genders but talks very little about!

Now this is fact: Some children are born more or less mixed gendered, neither entirely boy nor girl, and in some cases this is discovered only later in life. This mix can be revealed in one or more of several physical manifestations: body parts (external and/or internal), hormones, chromosomes, and more.

There is no way I can sort this label as “lifestyle,” as to me it has nothing to do with sexual orientation, even when intersexualism is discovered later in life. However, it does have to do with the body, and to begin the discussion I would like to start with you, thinking about how you would perceive a intersexual person if you knew that he or she was so.

We unconsciously judge people based on what we have been told, and we are quick to label them even before we see them. For people who are mixed gendered, how would you label them based on the labels above? Pick one if you can, and we’ll see how it fits.

Okay! If we think of homosexuality—lesbian, gay, and bisexual people—the bisexual label most certainly would fit, or would it? The person is bi- in body, and no matter whom they are attracted to, their total body, male and female both, likes that person. Or could it be that one part (say, the male) does, and the other part (the female) doesn’t? In that case, is that person lesbian or gay, or perhaps even straight? The easy way out is of course to label that person as bisexual according to the partner he or she chooses.

By the way … this business about he or she … what is this person? Don’t we need to know what this person looks like, talks like, and the impression this person gives in the flesh in order to have a say in the first place? But doesn’t being lesbian, gay, bi-, or hetero- depend on partner(s)? And how we judge that/those partner(s)?

So, what about trans- then? Trans- from what to what? Intersexual people are a mix from the start, so however they present themselves they must be trans-something. But doesn’t that depend on how they present themselves in the first place, like, from where do we begin counting? And then the mix—how do these intersex people look—does it matter in labeling them how their intersexuality shows?

Whatever “T” trans- label I’m aware of, it’s about looks and presentation, and suddenly here we can’t be quite sure, so the easy way out is that society makes those children born intersexual to look like boys or girls to avoid confusion. But for whom? Who was that child originally meant to be?

If you were born intersexual and didn’t know about it—if it didn’t show—how would you feel among all those labels we just discussed? For example, your dilemma could be that you look female on the outside, but internally and medically you would be defined as male. What gender do you think you would feel you were? Based on your presentation, lifestyle, partner, you would be judged as either hetero- or homo-. If homosexual, which label then: lesbian, gay, or bi? That, as we discussed, depends on sexual orientation, but how do you know, as sexual orientation in the end is based on the body: male or female?

Perhaps as an intersexual child you had surgery to make you look like a girl or a boy, but really, is it only looks that determine gender? What gender you feel you are is becoming rather vital here. If your surgery as an infant has made your gender look the wrong way, would you feel it? How you are raised and dressed: does that make a difference? How you are perceived by others: can you feel that?

Try to imagine how you would feel if you were habitually dressed in the opposite gender’s clothes, perhaps even in clothes you don’t like. Do you think you would you feel lost, ashamed, or even traumatized? Like the transsexual phenomenon proves, some of us feel that we were born as the wrong gender even without such complications as intersexuality. So, who would you feel you were if you were born intersex and hadn’t been told and perhaps ended up with those feelings of belonging to the opposite gender? Then which label would apply to you … what, “T” for trans-? Would you accept it? How about you being forced to accept it because that’s easiest for everyone else? Could you cope?

Then, oh yes—of course, if we think in terms of queer, would that bring us closer to an understanding of how to sort these labels? Could intersex be related to queer somehow, like in queer terms perhaps you are okay with being non-gendered, third gender, or whatever other gender you want to be considered (other than being male or female, of course)? But intersexualism is not about wanting or choosing; it’s about how we are born!

Can we be born queer, then?

As I understand it, children are also born sexually oriented, hard-wired, which they become aware of and express later in life; but again, that depends on the gender you feel you are. Only after you’ve identified that, then you can be labeled either hetero- or homosexual depending on the looks of the partner you choose. Or could it be the other way around: gender depends on sexual orientation? Anyway, regardless of all of this, what is queer? In what way are you born queer if even intersexualism doesn’t guarantee queerness?

I know that some people intentionally alter their bodies to be mixed gendered for reasons other than wanting to be queer (there are a lot of labels for that too), and some transsexual people, because of health care (mainly depending on what surgery is available) change gender, becoming at least half way or as close to their right gender as possible. But does that force them to be queer, too?

I do understand how intersexualism could be seen not to fit into any label because of how these people’s bodies have developed. But then, does that intersex label indicate what kind of persons these children are and are going to develop into? To my understanding there is nothing about intersexualism, like transsexualism, that makes these people alike in any way, with similar interests, for example. In fact, you will find these people everywhere in society, and like everyone else, some of them can be quite diverse, too.

Whatever queer is, it doesn’t cover all the variations and syndromes of the intersex label. So, that brings us to the ultimate question: lifestyle, sexual orientation, or gender—what is intersex related to, if any of those? And if more than one of these determinates applies, which comes first?

Somewhere along the line as we’re digging deep in the issues of self perception and labels, one way or the other there will be a mismatch, so can’t we just accept those labels society and various groups assign to us!?! Why not?

And what about self-perception? Isn’t that about how we see ourselves, the persons we want to be, or rather, try to be? What happens when who you think you want to be turns out to be contrary to your real, inner feelings? For example, imagine wanting to be accepted in a popular group of friends and then finding out you really don’t like them. You end up having to cope with your own bad decision and the situation you have chosen to put yourself in. Isn’t how we think about ourselves really about our own thoughts and thinking?

Also consider how you react, that feeling you get in your stomach when you’ve done something wrong. Those other feelings—when you feel extremely sad, your body sweats; you feel disgusting; even revulsion for your self. And what about heartache, love? What makes you feel the way you do? Who are you? Couldn’t that be self-perception too—something that makes you react, something that makes you what you are deep inside, something you just can’t control by will, denial, force, or whatever?

Could it be that this is self-perception, and the willed persona, the one you want to be, is merely an illusion, a role you play?

Why do we appear to be different in other people’s eyes, different from them? Where do we draw the lines labeling ourselves and others this and that? For example, when will an infant/young person be regarded as intersexual or not?

Some women for various reasons can’t get pregnant or give birth in what we consider to be the “normal” way (vaginal); are they intersex? There are men, too, who can’t produce functioning sperm; what are they? And there are those who don’t want to have children anyway; is that related to intersex, or perhaps being queer? What about women with small breasts and men with small penises; where do we draw the line? How does size matter, making you more or less of a man or woman?

As I mentioned before, many infants and children are treated as soon as possible if an intersex syndrome is discovered (i.e. as soon as they pass the line to what is considered abnormal). But how can doctors and parents know what gender to choose for them; what are their criteria?

Furthermore—and this is interesting—if the intersexual person discovers that she (for the sake of simplicity) perceives herself as a woman instead of man, which is the gender that had been chosen for her, then she is very close to being transsexual, and in Sweden today transsexualism is regarded and classified as a psychological disease (although transvestitism is not). And to my knowledge the authorities classify most intersex syndromes as handicaps: conditions that healthcare treats and tries to correct, but that’s not the case for transsexuals.

If an intersexual child wants to change gender, she must wait, because Swedish law dictates she must “come of age” first. Then she will have to be classified as transsexual, simply as a psychologically sick person, in order to get approved for assessment. Psychological assessment (proving that you are indeed transsexual) itself is not easy. Unpublished Swedish statistics show that suicide—among those whom authorities have classified as transsexual people—is one of the most-common causes of death among all psychological condition listed. What’s not known and not listed is how many people are being denied health care for transsexualism and instead diagnosed with some other psychological disease. What happens to them?

I was one of those people denied classification, and if you want to learn more about this and my experience of the Swedish healthcare system, you’re welcome to read the article I wrote about it in 2008 [www.li-sam.co.uk/healthcare1.html].

Whatever our conclusions are regarding labels, both the labels and our understanding can change. For example, can one label tell all about a person, such as personality, relations to others, and so on? Would several labels do the job? If so, how many?

To some degree this intersex label explains something about our bodies: that there actually is something in-between, but somehow that label still doesn’t reflect the person. To some degree this intersex label also explains something about transsexualism: that there actually can be very intersexual people for whom the body turns very wrong, more than 50%, the other way.

And regarding conclusions, would/could our moral values change if we understood these labels and labeling better?

Consider:

Apart from your body and looks, how do you know what gender you are?

Is there a difference between who you are and who you want to be?

If intersex doesn’t fit in as a lifestyle, what about transsexualism? When does a physical and medical handicap become a lifestyle?