Sorting Gender / The End


© Li Sam Writing. All rights reserved.

The thoughts ending this chapter and the previous one on sorting labels could easily end at the same spot where we started up or even nowhere at all. When we come down to it, where’s the proof, the hard facts? These are what we unconditionally trust scientists whom we educate and pay to provide for us, as well as politicians whom we vote for and blame. Facts are what we’re used to looking for.

Rarely do we think of ourselves as the living proof, especially if we ourselves contradict what we want to believe in. Categorizing people into groups that are not like us is easy, but categorizing people like us doesn’t quite work the same way.

Sorting gender, trying to find specific separating details that segregate men and women, won’t work, as there will always be exceptions. But sorting gender the other way around by searching for similarities—that will always work because then there are no exceptions to find. We are like each other in many, many ways.

This is strange reasoning (and typical me), but the point to note is the distinction between a person, the true self you are, and labels, such as “man” and “woman” with all their implications. As individuals, human beings, we all are alike. It’s when we start labeling that we begin to drift apart, calling each other this and that, degrading each other, to gain advantage or profit, to satisfy our own egos within a group label that we try to adapt to or shun.

In many ways society is about role playing, and your true self, that person with contradictions that don’t fall within regular categories—society, your group, the person you want to be—is someone you don’t want to know about. And God forbid if your very self is discovered to be wrong for you or your categories. It’s quite an odd spiral, trapping ourselves away from others and sometimes even from one’s self.

However, we can’t escape ourselves. We are quite hard-wired after all, and in the end this role-play, sooner or later, will take its toll. You might not be aware of it, like I wasn’t; the mind‘s ability to deny the truth can mess things up quite a bit and that almost killed me. But before it had gotten that far, the true nature of my soul played tricks on me that I was unable to understand.

I have learned that my gender, the way I looked male, was merely a small part of all my denial about myself. My understanding of my true self was like a lost key, and without it I wasn’t able to open up and present myself as the person I was. But that key is very much valid for us all, not just people born transsexual like me.

The sexual orientation labels presented, here imagined as venues, are also about coming out, finding a place to meet, being accepted and welcomed for who you are, and this in its extension is an issue about well-being too. And it’s a well-being we seldom talk about, unless we label it as something more acceptable. Strange is that sometimes it seems more okay to be addressed as mentally ill as an excuse, rather than just be yourself and healthy.

Regarding this, our well-being, it’s also vital to understand how this role-play/our-true-self conflict also affects us physically to an extent that triggers all kinds of diseases, as well as suicide. As individuals we are all affected, with no exceptions. If you lost the key to open up your soul, find it and make use of it; most times you will find it only a breath away. Make the time right, come out, and enjoy life like one among friends. The venue where you choose to meet people doesn’t have to be just one. That key has the power to make you welcome anywhere.

I write a lot (I try to, anyway), and to further help you visualize my ideas, I’m listing here the following short blog story (four entries) and poem. It may be hard to understand at a first look, but so is life. However, there are some answers to find, if you want to.

Directions Carved in Stone

“Life” Following Our Path

“Existence” Life Following Time

“Me” A Crack in the Sky

The poem “Turning”

The following seminar chapters aim to go further to explain more about the soul, our true selves and who we are, what makes us so special and personally unique. That exercise stretches over ten more chapters, and in time I will try to have them presented one by one in this blog, too. The live seminars, however, cover those chapters and more in various lengths depending on your venue. Please ask for a quote.

To close this chapter and entry I would like to remind you about what this understanding is all about, to come to terms with one’s self and others. The list of transsexual conditions at the introduction is not just for people born transsexual. It’s a list that very much reflects conditions that can apply to anyone who is not being true to him or herself, trapped for whatever reason, unable to come out.

Please consider.

Thank you,

Li Sam

Conditions that can apply when being untrue to oneself
- Relationship problems - problems interacting with other people, workmates, and friends
- Sexual problems – problems interacting sexually or difficulties finding a partner
- Confusion about sexual preferences and one’s own sexual orientation
- Self-esteem problems such as shyness and shame of one’s body
- Social problems - being exposed to isolation and bullying
- Mentally unstable with repeating anxiety, hysteria, and depression
- Suicidal thoughts with a high risk of realizing these thoughts
- Exposure of assault and battery and sexual abuse
- Risk of being wrongly diagnosed and treated for mental illness such as
   · burnout and other stress-related problems
   · Aspergers syndrome, ADHD, and schizophrenia
   · borderline and other types of personality disorders
- Risk of being wrongly diagnosed and treated for physical diseases, such as
   · unspecified body ache, migraine, headaches etc.
   · eyesight and physical coordination problems
   · eating problems such as anorexia and bulimia
- Risk of being a drug addict and/or prostitute